Commonwealth Games, Part II

Ok, I cannot claim credit for this at all. A friend of mine saw this at a forum on another website. But it was so appropriate, and so simply brilliant, I couldn't resist. Here goes:

The best description for the Commonwealth Games is ............ Golden Shower.

I expect this to be used in a newspaper headline asap.

I. Hate. The. Commonwealth. Games.

Why the hell are we supposed to care about the Commonwealth Games? Seriously. It's a stupid competition between Australia and a bunch of impoverished African countries. Whoop-dee-do. Even considering that, I might have been vaguely interested had Channel Nine not promoted the hell out of it for the past month. For example, I was unfortunate enough to catch a few minutes of the Today show last week and they had an interview with the postman who delivers letters to the athletes. WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT (besides the fact that it allows Nine to reiterate for the umpteenth time that it is showing the Games)?!?! WHY SHOULD I GIVE A SHIT?!?

Speaking of unfortunate, I also saw about 3 minutes of the opening ceremony last night. Looks like they ripped off the 2000 olympics, substituting Nikki Webster for some young boy who is going to get the crap beaten out of him for the next few years.

Rove pwned by Harrison Ford

Anyone who had the misfortune of watching Rove Live last night would have seen what was, oddly, the best and worst interview of Rove's career. The best because it made Rove look like the D grade shmuck he is and was thus hilariously funny, and the worst because it was so uncomfortable.

Some highlights:

• Rove asks Ford about the mile high club, Ford grumbles something, and then Rove goes "high-five Harrison Ford" and sticks his hand up in the air. Ford gives him this dirty look, looks at the crowd like "who the fuck is this idiot?", and Rove literally shrinks into seat.
  
  
• Rove asks Ford about his involvement in rescues with his helicopter. Rove then poses the dumbest question imaginable: "Were you actually there when the people were rescued?" Ford dryly replied that "No, I was in my trailer", and then gives the audience the aforementioned "who the fuck is this idiot" look.
  
  
• Not peturbed, Rove continues the above line of questioning and asks Ford if the people being rescued were shocked to see Harrison Ford there. Ford responded with "they were happy to be rescued, they didn't give a rat's ass who did it." Perfect answer to a completely idiotic question.

Poetry in motion, folks.

Email me a comment!: stinrab@hotmail.com

No celebrities here

Remember a few years back when Australia's version of the Jerry Springer Show - A Current Affair - aired the story about the Paxtons, a trio of "dole bludgers" who were ripping off "our tax dollars"? Remember the follow-up story, where the Paxton's were offered jobs at an exclusive resort but turned them down? Not only did this help create a precedent in the programming of current affairs programming - the "more dole bludgers and whitetrash, more often" philosophy - it also led to a curious decision by Channel 7. Y'see, Channel 7 news then employed one of the Paxton brothers. As their weatherman/roving reporter.

Now, there is a bit of a problem with this. As far as I know, Mr Paxton did not and does not have a degree in journalism, meteorology, or any talent. He did not earn his right to be on television. How many qualified people were passed over to give Paxton the job? Too many. This in itself started another precedent, whereby mimbos were given highly paid positions at the expense of qualified professionals - the "more Tim Bailey's and Grant Denyer's, and less people you don't want to punch" philosophy. But more on that another day.

By employing Paxton, Channel 7 had made clear that it would attempt to create a TV personality/celebrity out of anyone. Paxton's career at 7 may now be long over, but Channel 7 has continued with this philosophy. The most recent example is - of course - Simone Warne.

I have nothing against "Mrs" Warne but please tell me why she is qualified to work at Channel 7 as one of their talents? And why is she a contestant on the next pissweak installment of Dancing with the Stars? Her only talent, as far as I can see, was putting up with Warney's excuses for so long and then making some money out of it with a book deal.

Have we really run out of worthy people in this country, so much so that we're currently scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Comments? Email me at stinrab@hotmail.com

More on Rove's season premiere

For those brave souls that can actually make it through an episode of Rove Live, Casey, a reader of this blog, has suggested the following:

It would be interesting to keep a tally of how many times he says "I don't what I'm doing" after an awkward pause, or any similar kind of comments. And maybe how many times Peter Helliar laughs in the middle of his own jokes?

If you are not brave enough to actually sit through an entire episode, I suggest that you create a drinking game along the same lines. You'll be absolutely wasted within 5 minutes and won't remember a thing after that. Oh happy day!